who will condem us? (open)

[EDWIN CHRISTOPHER LAWLEY]

He wished that he could say that he was okay with everything that had been happening lately. Ever since Adelle’s death nothing had been the same for him and his family. He’d never get over the feeling of waking up to the empty space beside him in the big bed. He’d never get use to being the only one in the big house that they’d bought together so many years ago. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get use to no one being there. Before the big house had been full of laughter and noises of two teenagers running through the floors and stairs but now the noises were nothing more than phantom sounds to him. He could hear Amanda yelling about something that Christopher said, phantom noises of their fights echoing through the silence of the house. He’d moved Amanda into her first apartment just the day before. He’d kissed her forehead just as he had many times before as he stepped through the door. She’d told him to take it easy and he’d told her to stay out of trouble. His little photography major of a daughter. She’d once been his little angel and now, well now she was all he had left in the world to be proud of. Ever since Adelle passed from the cancer and Christopher overdosed. He just wanted to lock Amanda up and never let the world touch her. Still, even in his own little insanity, Lawley knew that he couldn’t do that to her. He wouldn’t do that to her. He’d been sitting in his office in the large house, staring at the photos of his family that seemed to coat the room a thousand times over. Originally he’d gone in there to go over some files for the Pax, work out a new plan since things almost seemed to be falling apart. But like every other time he’d walked in that room to do anything, he’d spaced out thinking about before. He never got any work done and honestly just ended up much more frustrated than if he’d just never walked into the room in the first place. He just needed an escape he figured and since the fridge in the house was slowly becoming more and more empty and bare, food shopping was in order. As he walked through the aisles, he found himself getting more and more lost. It had always been Adelle’s job to pick up the food and to prepare meals and then after her death Amanda had picked it up. Even though she only lived across town, he didn’t want to have to bother his daughter with something as trivial as this. So instead he found himself staring at the different types of milk alone. Lawley was in way over his head.

[ELLA MAE BANE]

Turning over, Ella did something she’d not done in over four years. Without conscious thought or anything to give her a reason to do it. Ella Mae Bane reached out to the right side of her queen side bed. She tried to wrap her arm around a man who was no longer there. It awoke her instantly, but all she could do was stare at the empty place in her bed. All she could do was stare, half lidded eyes, at the place she’d always felt would never be cold. At the empty space beside her where his six foot two body would normally be found sprawled. An image came to mind, imagining it, she could almost see him laying there beside her. Opening his soft hazel eyes, smiling in silent joy at seeing her, but then something about the way he smiled always had her hooked. It was the soft way the corners of his eyes would crinkle when he was happy. Or maybe it was just the warmth in his eyes when she knew he was happy.

Sitting up, she stared at the image she’d conjured up. Blinking, she shocked herself when she felt tears fill herself and fall within seconds. Reaching up, she wiped the tears, but when she looked back to the image, it was no longer there. Sighing a shaky sigh, she felt as if the image had been a mechanism to protect herself from feeling alone. Though she knew this, it didn’t change the fact she felt utterly alone. There was no one there for her in her new apartment nor would there ever seem to be. Not to sound depressing, that she knew there was no real point to, but even with her many patients, she knew she probably would never be ready to be in a relationship again. Besides, she never wanted to put anyone through fixing something they hadn’t broken. No one had to be forced to stay with damaged goods, and she was not going to be the girl who someone felt the need to be with because she was broken.

With a sigh, she ran a brush through her hair again. Staring at the made up version of herself, she felt like the image she saw was way better than the inner version. Inside she was bruised, crying, and bleeding, but outside she was healed, smiling, and quite normal looking. Outwardly, there didn’t seem to be a thing wrong with her. Looking down, she sighed slowly and breathed in quickly, bringing a smile to her face. Turning, she pushed herself to be normal though she felt sad on the inside, outwardly she looked completely normal.

Strolling slowly through the aisles, Ella debated what else she needed beyond the foods on her list. Randomly, she noted a person she hadn’t the slightest idea ever shopped for anything. Walking happily towards him, she stopped next to his cart with a friendly smile. For once she felt like things would be okay, but her patients always seemed to make her feel better. Even though they didn’t know it. “Mr. Lawley, hello,” she greeted with a soft smile and a wave.