e m p a t h y { ben.

[ISABELLA SAOIRSE HARTSEN]

- - YOU WERE ALONE BEFORE WE MET, NO MORE FORLORN THAN ONE COULD GET
HOW COULD WE KNOW WE HAD FOUND TREASURE HOW SINISTER AND HOW CORRECT
*IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH I COULD NOT TAKE, A PROMISE I COULD NOT MAKE
- - - - - - - - - - my ashtray heart

Bella's eyes were sealed shut with sleep and her head throbbed painfully despite her face being buried in the crisp white cotton of her pillow. Photos were strewn across the bed around her, and she was fully dressed in work clothes, laying on top of the sheets still clutching an empty bottle of wine. Her tired eyes peeled themselves open and she instantly regretted it as the brilliantly bright light pouring in from the large window assaulted her rapidly expanding pupils. Bella groaned before realising that something must have woken her up, seeing as her body was clearly too reluctant to awake to have done so of it's own accord. Yes, definitely, there it was again, the sound that had yanked her so unceremoniously from her slumber. Bella pulled herself out of bed and forced her stiff limbs in the direction of the large white double doors, unlocking them and throwing them wide open and stepping out into the grand entrance hall that lead to her personal elevator doors. On the other side of the said white doors was a police officer, who looked very unsure of himself and out of place in the luxurious interior of Switchblade City's most prestigious address, at Bella's materialisation he also looked perplexed that the incredibly wealthy woman before him was wearing crumpled work clothes and who's hair, which was normaly silky and tame, was wild and tangled around her porcelain doll face. A face which was uncannily similar to that of the small, pale faced boy clutching his hand. At the sight of him, Bella drew in her breath sharply and dropped to her knees, her eyes round with shock. “Jamie?!”

[/color] she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. The police officer agreed with her statement of recognition and released the boy's grip from his own. "We understand that the boy is generally in the care of his father, Benjamin Kanst, however Mr. Kanst is currently incarcerated so naturally, when one of our officers found him we thought it best to bring him straight to you. You should really have a word with your ex, Miss. Hartsen, it's really not safe to allow small children to roam the streets of this city alone without supervision..."[/color] the man paused, fully aware that Bella's attention wasn't on him.

Instead, it was fully focused on the boy. Her small, slender hands were rested on his cheeks, her blue eyes, identical in colour to that of the child's, were filled up with tears and the officer's voice trailed off into silence for a moment. She hadn't taken in a single word that he had said, until now. Bella's stood up quickly and the child made a move to hide behind the leg of the man that had brought him here, he watched the woman's eyes narrow. Bella had to make sure that what she had thought she heard was what she had actually heard. “Ben's ...incarcerated? As in ...in prison?!"[/color] The enthusiasm in her voice was rewarded with a murmur or agreement from the man her face broke into a smile that almost made him forget about the disarray of her appearance. Joy flooded her at the realisation that Ben could no longer tower over her from the safety of his high horse, and that bitch he was shacked up with had disappeared too! With any luck, he had killed her. She reached out and pulled the boy by the arm towards her, plastering a smile across her face as she rested both hands securely on his shoulders. He was her's! All her's! Alone! “Thank you for bringing Jamie to me, officer”[/color] she said, her voice the consistency of syrup as she watched him turn, job done, and press the elevator call button. As the metallic doors slid open, Bella ushered her son into the penthouse and shut the doors behind them with a click. “Right. Let Mummy just get ready and we'll go and find Daddy, shall we?”[/color] she asked in a sign song voice, ignoring the boy's look of confusion and his shy body language. She pointed in the direction of the room she had decorated specifically with the child in mind and bent down, to his level, her wide smile seemingly fixed permenantly to her face. “Are you hungry?”[/color] Bella sighed and straightened back up when the frightened little boy shook his head hurriedly and ran to the door she had pointed to, pushing it open with all his might and sneaking inside, the door slamming behind him. Well, Bella thought, I'm hungry even if you aren't!

A bowl of low fat cereal, a coffee, a shower and two hours spent in her bedroom preening herself later, a pristine and glowing Bella knocked smartly on Jamie's bedroom door before pushing the white wooden portal open. Her son was inside, happily playing with the many expensive toys she had bought for him, bought for this very purpose. The sight filled her heart with love and plastered the wide smile back on her glossed lips. She took a step into the pale green room and held her hand out to him, calling his name pleasantly. The boy, although still shy, stood up still clutching an action figure he had found in the room that had his name on it and walked over to the woman, accepting her hand with his free one. As Bella was wearing ridiculously high heels she couldn't possibly drive in she had called down to the front desk and requested a chauffer and car to be waiting for her at the entrance. Jamie's eyes lit up when he saw it, more than they had when Bella had agreed to lift him up so he could reach the buttons on the interior of the elevator and allowed him to press the desired one. The car was long, black and sleek, a limousine like the ones he had seen pull up outside Daddy's studio when a really important person had come to visit.

In the back of the car Bella had gone over all the self righteous things she could say to her ex, who she was still mad at for recently rejecting her in favour of Cordelia, when she saw him behind bars. Tacky name she added mentally with regards to the woman that had had the audacity to raise her son for the past God knows how many years, however long she had been sucking Ben's cock, at least. However, now that the car had pulled up outside the somewhat rundown Switchblade Police Department her mind was blank and instead she merely took the boys hand and lead him into the shabby building, making a mental note to send some sort of donation to them, a token of appreciation for arresting the father of her son and bringing Jamie to her. In the reception Bella informed them of her name and her business with the police today and was lead down a dark corridor and into a small room containing an even smaller cell and another officer sitting reading a news paper. Upon closer inspection Bella realised the huddled figure in the cell was in fact Benjamin Kanst and a small, smug smile wormed it's way across her lips. “Hello Benjamin”[/color] she almost sneered as their son let go of her hand and rushed closer to the bars. "Daddy! he exclaimed gleefully, still clutching the action figure from Bella's penthouse lovingly.
[/size][/JUSTIFY][/blockquote][/blockquote]

i tore the muscle from your chest, used it to stub out cigarettes
LISTENED TO YOUR SCREAMS OF PLEASURE, WATCH BEDSHEETS TURN BLOOD RED
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR BEN. 1239 WORDS. BELLA WEARS THIS. TEMPLATE BY SPECIAL K !.

[BENJAMIN JAMES KANST]

→ PICTURE, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING
FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE, UNDER YOUR COMMAND
( I WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN WHEN ALL IS CRUMBLING ! ) - - - - - - - - - -

Nothing around him seemed to matter. At first he had been angry and so filled with hatred for the woman he thought he loved. With the hate had also come a complete and total sense of agony. The betrayal he felt to learn that the last three years he had spent with that woman was all a lie, it was overwhelming. He felt like he was drowning in the violent turmoil of emotions that he was experiencing. Ben didn't even notice when Cordie left. He didn't care. This entire time he thought he loved her but she was only with him to get information. Three years. Ben couldn't wrap his mind around how someone could stay in a relationship that long and act like nothing was wrong. Cordelia wasn't even her real name. She was good though, he would give her that. Not once did he ever suspect that the relationship was something the FBI had probably concocted in some bland office building. Did she even love him? They had shared the same bed for three years and the sex had been amazing but to imagine it was all a lie, it was unbelievable. How did he find himself in this situation? Ben had tried to kill Katelyn to protect Cordie, or whatever the hell her name was. He was in jail because of her but for all the wrong reasons. 

It was probably only an hour after Cordie left but it seemed to last forever. Everything had gone numb. There had been some crying at first and then pure anger but now, it was nothing. The emotional pain far outweighed the physical pain. He figured the two had just canceled each other out and now he was void of all feeling. Ben sat on the bench with his elbows resting on his knees and his head buried in his hands. He was trying to think of something other than Cordie but everything reminded him of her. It got to the point where he was making the most absurd connections to her hazel-green eyes and that blondish-brown hair he loved to play with. He probably looked pathetic sitting in that cell, trying to choke back his sobs but he honestly could care less about his image right now. She meant everything to him. He was planning on how to propose to her for fuck's sake! The only thing he had left was Jamie and with him in prison, he didn't know if he had that anymore. He couldn't lose Jamie too, not now. It had been such a stupid decision to go and try to kill Katelyn/Danielle on his own. There were plenty of guns for hire to do those things. A lot of good it had done him.

Maybe it was possible to lose everything. All he wanted from life was a family, someplace to call home. Jamie had been the start of a quest to find that sense of belonging and Cordie completed that. To hear that she was pregnant with his kid had honestly been the happiest moment of his life. It just had to be followed with the most shocking realization possible. The fucking FBI. He truly loved her more than any of the women he had been with. She was everything he wanted and more. Now he couldn't help but wonder if she was some perfectly crafted woman the FBI had fabricated specifically for him. Who was he kidding? Of course she was. It had been too good to be true and now he knew why. No wonder why they always managed to avoid arguments and despite his late nights, she had always stayed with him. She never really had a choice. Still despite it all, Ben found himself still completely and totally in love with her. He didn't understand it and it was killing him to even consider it but, he wanted her back.

This is what it felt like to be truly heartbroken. He'd never really allowed himself to get close enough to anyone to lose them. Before this, Ben had never known what it was like to lose someone he loved. And now he did. His entire life for the past three years had suddenly coming crashing down on him and he was standing in the rubble, so completely lost. He was a refugee inside his own war-zone of a life. The only thing that could possibly go wrong was if--and at that moment, that sickly, sweet voice rang throughout the small cell. Of course. Cordie and now her. It seemed only logical for Bella to be standing there...with his their son. Ben slowly looked up and forced a thin smile at Jamie's enthusiasm. That poor boy had no idea what was going on. It was better that he didn't. Keeping the smile for Jamie was torturous but he refused to allow the child to think something was wrong. "Hey Jamie. I gotta talk to Miss Bella for a second. Why don't you go show the police officer your toy?" He smiled when the boy merely nodded with a grin and scampered off go show the slightly annoyed cop. Kneeling for a second after Jamie ran off, Ben took a deep breath and stood up to look at Bella.

She would have to look so damn perfect. Ben could only imagine the pleasure she was getting just from seeing him in the cell. To put it quite frankly, he was a wreck. His hand was bandaged but dried blood still ran down his arm. There was a decent sized bruise on his cheekbone and his red eyes made it quite clear that he had been crying. His hair was matted with his blood from where Lawley had pistol-whipped him and here was Bella, perfect as always. Making sure Jamie was out of earshot, Ben leaned closer to the bars. "I don't care what you have to say, just not in front of him. Please." There was a desperate pleading tone to his voice. "Just call Jackie Adair, she'll take care of him until I figure things out. Bella, I'm begging you, please. I don't want to have to  explain this to him." He was actually begging to his ex. This was a new low. It was like a kick to the gut when he was already down on the floor.

( BELLA!  )
(  1 0 6 0 )
( NEVER SAY NEVER BY THE FRAY)
( HOLAH CRAP )
( BROOKE FROM CAUTION )

[ISABELLA SAOIRSE HARTSEN]

- - YOU WERE ALONE BEFORE WE MET, NO MORE FORLORN THAN ONE COULD GET
HOW COULD WE KNOW WE HAD FOUND TREASURE HOW SINISTER AND HOW CORRECT
*IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH I COULD NOT TAKE, A PROMISE I COULD NOT MAKE
- - - - - - - - - - my ashtray heart

Bella was silent for a moment as she surveyed the man before her and the new found power she had over him. The tables had most definitely turned, Ben was on the wrong side of the bars and Bella and Jamie were here, free to leave whenever they wanted to. The only difference between this situation and that was that Bella did not posses the cruelty Ben did, yes she was cunning, manipulative and she often played dirty, but she was not cruel. Bella was here now, looking at him through the bars, her cheque book in her bag, Ben had never come, never bailed her out or watched her trial, she had wasted her one phone call desperately trying to call Ben instead of her family lawyer who would have gotten her out with the blink of an eye, the court appointed solicitor hadn't put much effort into her defence. He had never visited her in prison where she was surrounded by crack whores and mothers that had killed their own children, he had left her there completely alone. He had never even written. And now the mighty Benjamin Kanst was facing the same predicament, if not for her he too would be facing a trial he would be sure to lose and he too could look forward to years in a cell, much like the one he was experiencing now. But Bella was not cruel.

One of her perfectly groomed brows quirked up wards at Ben's suggestion one of his croneys take on the responsibility of Jamie, despite his perfectly capable mother standing not ten feet away from the child. Bella let an extended moment of silence pass between the two as she looked calmly down at Ben, metaphorically on his knees in his cell. He had never begged her before and she was rather enjoying the experience. She laughed at him. It was a sweet, tinkling laugh that flirted with the hearts of all men within hearing and one that politely but firmly told her ex to kiss her arse. She would do no favours for him, her intention to pay his bail, no matter what it was set at, was for their son's sake and not for his. He had already missed out on one parent due to a little thing called the law, and she wouldn't allow him to miss out on the other just as he got the first back. "No, Ben. I don't think so." replied Bella happily, glancing over her shoulder to where Jamie sat on the floor, happily demonstrating to the police officer guarding Ben how his action figure's limbs moved. He was becoming less shy around her, and he hadn't fought the implications when both she and the police officer that had brought him to her had referred to Bella as his mother. She smiled fondly. "You see" she went on to explain "The police officer that found him wandering the streets alone and brought him to me was already kind enough to tell Jamie that I am his mother and I don't know about you, but to me he seems to have taken that information with as little fuss as possible. He's been at my apartment for the morning and he seems as happy as can be. Wouldn't you agree?". A listener would be forgiven for confusing Bella's warning tones with vocal poison.

Bella's whithering stare flicked over Ben a few times, taking in how sad and pathetic he seemed, before she spoke again. To think this man, huddled against the bars of his cell a pathetic mess of dirt, blood and tears, had once had the audacity to look down on Isabella Hartsen for doing something that risked her being close to her son, when he himself had followed in her footsteps and committed such a crime he would be facing a lot longer than Bella had behind bars. She smiled. "I think it would be for the best for Jamie to stay with me in my apartment for a while, at least for the foreseeable future. His current guardian is obviously under a lot of stress and is no longer mentally stable enough to be responsible for the care of a minor. So no, I won't be calling this Jackie Adair for you. Jamie will be staying with me, his mother.

[/color] and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

Bella took a step back from the cell and called Jamie to her, who came pleasantly to her side and took her outstretched hand, clutching the figure and waving to his father with the other hand. Bella turned, taking their son with them and heading towards the door, allowing Ben to think she was leaving him here as he had done to her. It would only be fair, after all. But then she stopped, only a few inches away from disappearing into the free world, and turned back towards the guard with all the air of someone who has just decided to do their good deed for the day on a whim. "By the way Officer" she smiled sweetly "Just what is Mr. Kanst's bail set at?"
[/size][/JUSTIFY][/blockquote][/blockquote]

i tore the muscle from your chest, used it to stub out cigarettes
LISTENED TO YOUR SCREAMS OF PLEASURE, WATCH BEDSHEETS TURN BLOOD RED
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR BEN. 858 WORDS. BELLA WEARS THIS. TEMPLATE BY SPECIAL K !.

[BENJAMIN JAMES KANST]

→ PICTURE, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING
FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE, UNDER YOUR COMMAND
( I WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN WHEN ALL IS CRUMBLING ! ) - - - - - - - - - -

Apparently it was quite possible for things to go from worse to downright disastrous. It should have come as shocking that Bella had Jamie with him but at this point, nothing seemed to be shocking anymore. The young child didn't seem to have a clue about what was going on. Ben wondered how he had taken being brought to Bella's house. He could only imagine how new this must have all seemed to Jamie. And if he knew Bella at all, she was only here to gloat about how she now had her child. With Ben in the cell, there was very little he could do about his son. If she wanted, Bella would have been able to walk out of here with his son. Though he was almost positive that his lawyer would be able to get him out of his predicament, but a legal fight with Bella could go either way. She could have anything she wanted but Ben was not going to give her Jamie willingly. This must have all been very amusing for her. It sickened him to know that this was all some sort of game to her. Just because she thought she knew how to raise a child, it didn't mean she could. The idea of Isabella Hartsen dealing with a screaming, crying six-year-old was almost laughable. She could only buy his love for so long.

"Bella, don't do this. Not now." Pleading was something Ben had never resorted to. It was a blow to his ego to even consider it and even more so that he was begging to his ex. In his mind, he had attempted murder to protect what he had with Cordie and Jamie. That had backfired horribly on him. It was childish the way she was acting and it was starting to anger him. He wasn't just about to let her walk out of here with Jamie after she was done making her point. Yes, he got how terribly ironic it was that he was now the one behind bars. "You expect him to understand that you're his mother?" His grey eyes flickered over to the obviously happy child and his gaze visibly softened. Jamie was all he had left now and he certainly wasn't about to leave him. He couldn't deny that Jamie seemed delighted with his toy but Ben wondered how much he truly understood. Ben had already ignored the child for too long and he didn't want Jamie growing up without him, not now. The only problem was, how was he suppose to make Bella understand this? She had want she wanted already and he doubted that she would stop to listen to him.

He sighed and rested his head against the bar for a brief second. An argument with Bella was the last thing he wanted right now but she was leaving him without any choices. "Cordie's gone." Ben offered no explanation as to what had happened to her but just saying her name was enough to cause his chest to tighten. It took him a second to regain his voice but he glared at Bella as he spoke. "Do you think Jamie will still love you when he finds out that you're trying to replace his mother?" Ben hissed, just as disgusted with the thought of Cordie raising Jamie as Bella would be. "Just who do you think he's going to listen to, the person who's raised him for the last three years or the mother he doesn't remember?" Though he was in no position to threaten Bella, he made it very clear that he would. "This isn't some game you can play to win his love." But that was exactly what Ben was making it. If Bella ever wanted a chance to have Jamie love her, then she wouldn't overstep the lines. He had no right to act like he was in control of the situation but he was willing to sacrifice everything to keep Jamie away from her, for now.

It didn't seem like she was listening to him. As Bella turned to walk away, Ben had the very strong urge to strangle her if he could. "Isabella!" There was a sudden sinking feeling as he realized she was going to leave. This could quite possibly be the last time he saw both her and their son. "Bella, please. Don't-" Ben cut off as he realized this was quite hopeless. Abandoned by the only two women Ben had ever loved in one day left him feeling very, alone. He had just given any hope of ever getting out of this cell when Bella turned around. That fucking bitch. Both Ben and the officer shared the same look of confusion as they stared at Bella. "Kanst doesn't have bail...but for the right price, we could arrange for one," the officer smiled at the possibility of a big payday. Was she just playing with him or was Bella honestly asking because she was...going to bail him out? Oh great, now not only had he just begged his ex, he would probably owe her. This was just going to be one of those things she held over him. Did he mention how much he hated her?

( BELLA! )
( 8 7 3 )
( NEVER SAY NEVER BY THE FRAY)
( )
( BROOKE FROM CAUTION )

[ISABELLA SAOIRSE HARTSEN]

- - YOU WERE ALONE BEFORE WE MET, NO MORE FORLORN THAN ONE COULD GET
HOW COULD WE KNOW WE HAD FOUND TREASURE HOW SINISTER AND HOW CORRECT
*IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH I COULD NOT TAKE, A PROMISE I COULD NOT MAKE
- - - - - - - - - - my ashtray heart

Bella's sweet, heart shaped lips were set in a grim line as she stood by the doorway, attempting to force it into a smile that she could direct at the police officer who informed her Ben didn't have bail. His comment about Bella attempting to replace Jamie's mother hit her like a physical blow and as the words had poured from Ben's mouth, ladden with poison, her flinch had been obvious to both men in the room. It had made Bella not want to pay Ben's bail, but even he would know that when Bella put her mind to something, she did it. Even if by the time she actually got to doing it she had already changed her mind about wanting to, she still went through with it. Which is why Bella turned to the doorway once more and searched the precinct for another officer, it didn't take her pretty blue eyes long to locate one. She called him over in her sweet, silky voice and crouched down by Jamie's side so she was the same height as the six year old as the officer came towards them. "Hey Jamie"

[/color] she spoke softly so that if he wanted to hear what she was saying Ben would have to visibly strain to catch her words. "Why don't you go wait in the car? I just have a few things to do then me and Daddy will join you, okay?"[/color] the little boy nodded happily and took the hand of the large, moustached man as Bella stood up, relaying what she had just said to Jamie to the officer in a smooth, business like voice before turning again on her heel to address the room once more. Anger had settled itself neatly between her brows.

However, despite her obviously furious emotional state, Bella's actions remained calm as she set her bag on the table the guarding officer kept his coffee mug on and began rooting through its contents. She eventually reappared, clutching her cheque book so hard her knuckled had turned white. "And just how much would that cost, exactly?" she asked, taking the cap off of an expensive ball point pen she had found at the very bottom of her bag as she searched. The police threw an absured five figured number at her, a price no ordinary woman would be willing to pay for the release of the man that was currently doing everything in his power to make her life a hell, and Bella nodded stiffly at it, accepting it. She flipped open the cheque book to a blank cheque and scrawled the desired figure onto its fresh white canvas in her languid, scrawling script that hadn't changed since she was fifteen.

Very slowly Bella straightened up and tore out the freshly printed cheque from her book. She averted her eyes from Ben as she capped the pen and put it, along with the book, back into her oversized bag. She folded the paper up into a very small square before handing it over to the man guarding Benjamin Kanst who took it greedily and scuttled over to the door of Ben's cell, punching in the code on the keypad before nodding a thanks to Bella and leaving the room joyfully. He would almost certainly get a raise for this. Bella stood in the middle of the room, shaking with anger, as Ben slowly stepped out of the cell and stood infront of her. As he faced her, Bella's hand came up from her side and struck him across the face with a sound that seemed to ring around the near empty room. "How dare you" she hissed, menacingly, slapping him a second time for good measure. This time her manicured nails left a vicious looking scratch mark across his jaw. "She is not his mother. She will never be his mother, do you understand me? If you ever, ever say those words again I will drag your sorry, no good arse into court to fight for custody so fast it'll give you whiplash. You see, I might not have had a chance before this little stunt of yours, but now? What's a little possession charge against attempted murder? Any court would willingly accept the lesser evil. Besides, Ben. I've repented, remember?"[/color] with her breathing as shallow and agitated as it was, Ben would be forgiven for believing Bella to be sexually aroused. She had never been this angry around him before, he had never provoked this rage in her before. She hit him hard upside the head with her open palm, her face threateningly close to his. She couldn't believe he would say those words, after everything they'd been through together. "So, you think you know me, huh Benjamin Kanst? You don't know me. You think because you knew me when I was an addict that you know me now? You're pathetic."[/color] she spat in his face furiously before taking a step away from him, rocking on her precariously high heels. "Come on, what do you know about me? Huh? I'll tell you what you fucking know about me. You know that I'm the mother of your son, and you know that he'll find that out one day, sooner or later. What good do you think you're doing by making it difficult between us? Do you think that's going to help him accept it with as little emotional scarring as possible? No. Me either."[/color] she paced a little, really allowing herself to get into the rant she had been rehearsing since she saw him at the coffee shop and learned of his new little life he had created.

Bella turned to face Ben once more. "So. What other women have you got lined up in front of me to act as his mother? Because I'm pretty damn sure you just told me little miss perfect's gone, do you really think she'll be back to act as Mummy to her ex's six year old son? Grow up, Ben. You see, the difference between me and you is a simple one, money, and you always used to torment me for it, you remember? Do you remember how you used to say I'd never be more than a child? That I would never have to live as an adult like the rest of society? Well, I suppose that's a good thing right now, because at least I remember what it is to be a child. You think you know Jamie so well when you spend all your time with your clients? For fucks sake Ben, the police brought him to me because he was wandering the streets on his own. Fucking Switchblade Ben! Do you have any idea what could have happened to him? Any idea how many sick fucks use those streets like a shopping mall?"[/color] they both knew that Bella knew how many there were a lot better than Ben, having spent several years snoting lines with some of the worst occupiers in the streets. "He's not an idiot, Ben! He knows there's something up, now I haven't said a damn word, but you should. You should at least respect your own son enough to explain who his own mother is to him, you sick fuck!"[/color] she leapt forward and slammed her heel down on his foot, anger seeping out of every pore, before she turned and exited the cell room primly, heading towards the limousine she had waiting out the front with her son in it. Expecting said son's father to follow.[/size][/JUSTIFY][/blockquote][/blockquote]

i tore the muscle from your chest, used it to stub out cigarettes
LISTENED TO YOUR SCREAMS OF PLEASURE, WATCH BEDSHEETS TURN BLOOD RED
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR BEN. 1255 WORDS. BELLA WEARS THIS. TEMPLATE BY SPECIAL K !.

[BENJAMIN JAMES KANST]

→ PICTURE, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING
FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE, UNDER YOUR COMMAND
( I WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN WHEN ALL IS CRUMBLING ! ) - - - - - - - - - -

Was she really going to bail him out? Holy shit, she was. For a second Ben was shocked but it soon dissolved into a state of distrust. His eyes narrowed as she began writing the check for the ridiculous amount the man had asked for. Bastard. After what he had said to Bella, he would have rather stayed inside the cell. At least behind the bars, he was protected from her fiery temper. He honestly had not expected her to turn around and start writing a check. Bella was up to something and Ben was absolutely positive that it spelled bad news for him. The only reason he had said those things to Bella was because he knew getting her upset was the only way to get her to give in to his request. As fucked up as it was, not in a million years would he have guessed Bella had shown up to get him out of jail. The second the officer took the check, Ben knew he was in trouble. He was actually scared of what she was going to do to him. When she told Jamie to wait in the car and the officer left the room, Ben knew he was as good as dead. This cell could quite possibly be the place where Bella murdered him. With the door to the cell open, he was reluctant to actually walk through them. He had just been freed into a whole different level of hell. In fact, he would much rather have been left in that cell than to put up with whatever Bella was plotting.

Just as he suspected, the second he stepped out of the cell, Bella immediately launched into an angry tirade. There was a lot more force behind this slap than last time. Well, that or the fact that she had slapped him on the same spot where he had been punched. The slap was enough to cause Ben to stagger a few steps to the side. Ow. It was the second slap that drew blood though. The second time around left Ben with stinging tears and knocked out whatever sense he had left. A familiar metallic taste filled his mouth and the scratch mark across his jaw tingled fiercely along with the burning sensation. Good god, it felt like she dislocated his jaw. With a hand on his cheek, Ben opened his jaw a few times and blinked, trying to figure out where the hell he was. It was only Bella's screaming that brought him back to reality. Of course, the second he realized what she was yelling at him about, her hand slapped him upside the head and the pain that shot through his nervous system nearly made him pass out. Right where he had been pistol-whipped. Dear lord, this woman was evil.

He didn't even hear half of Bella's rant because he was too busy trying to suppress his pain. Blood trickled out of the corner of his lip and Ben slowly brought a hand up to wipe it away. For a second, she was actually convincing and Ben would have told her she was right if it wasn't for the fact, that he already knew those things. He visibly flinched when she mentioned Cordelia and looked away to hide the look of shame. Choking back the bile that rose at the thought of Cordie raising his child, Ben merely looked at the ground as she continued her scolding. He had already been planning on how to tell Jamie, it was just going to happen a bit before he had intended. With Bella already as pissed off as she was, Ben opted to remain quiet as she berated him for leaving his child out on the streets. It was surprising how much more her words hurt compared to the physical pain she had inflicted. Finally when she finished, the look on Ben's face was similar to a puppy kicked onto the streets in the rain. Clearly, it didn't stop Bella from exacting one last act of pain. Ben hissed in anguish and limped pathetically behind her.

It took him a while to make it to the car but he merely slid in the limousine. At the sight of his father, Jamie leapt at Ben, tackling into Ben's ribcage. It seemed everybody was just out to hurt him today. His bruised ribs screamed in protest and Ben groaned as he pulled Jamie into a hug. "Hey there kiddo," Ben kissed him on the forehead and ruffled his hair. The offended pout on Jamie's face was adorable and Ben chuckled as the young boy dropped the action figure to smooth out the tufts hair that stuck up. "So what do you say to spending the night at Jackie's house? I'll be sure she gets you tacos." Jamie's eyes seem to light up at the prospect of a night of playing Go Fish and tacos. The child nodded enthusiastically and Ben grinned. His smile faltered temporarily when he looked up Bella but not even she could ruin a moment with his son. He hugged Jamie tightly as the boy leaned against his father, playing with his toys. "So, a stop at Jackie's house then?"

( BELLA! )
( 8 7 0 )
( NEVER SAY NEVER BY THE FRAY)
( BROOKE FROM CAUTION )

[ISABELLA SAOIRSE HARTSEN]

- - YOU WERE ALONE BEFORE WE MET, NO MORE FORLORN THAN ONE COULD GET
HOW COULD WE KNOW WE HAD FOUND TREASURE HOW SINISTER AND HOW CORRECT
*IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH I COULD NOT TAKE, A PROMISE I COULD NOT MAKE
- - - - - - - - - - my ashtray heart

As Bella stepped out into the rain she sighed, her chest deflating rapidly as she allowed the rage Ben has enticed in her to flow away with the rain water. Her hair a little damp at the edges, Bella quietly slid into the back of the luxurious car, well ahead of Ben. Jamie was sat quietly, murmuring to himself as he spoke for his action figure in a voice much gruffer than his own. Bella smiled softly and extended one arm out towards him which he looked at shyly for a while before smiling a sweet, gappy smile and shuffling into her arms, the back of his soft blonde head resting peacefully against her chest. Bella smiled and closed her eyes a moment, suddenly exhausted. She hadn't felt this still inside since the last time she had held her son, when he was no more than a wriggling toddler that wanted nothing more than to be free of his mother's embrace so that he could explore. Ben's sudden presence in the limousine caused the tires to deflate a little and Bella's peaceful eyes snapped open again to shoot him a look of disgust, however, when their son leapt from her arms and into his gleefully, she couldn't help but soften her hard glare towards him. Whatever happened in the future, Ben had proved himself to be a good father and she had to admit that he had done well raising Jamie. Bella felt an all too familiar stirring deep in her abdomen and she sighed softly, her biological clock was ticking and Bella had recently been feeling a deep maternal urge to have another child. The only problem with that being that she had no husband, or even boyfriend, to have a child with. She turned her head away, resting on the back of the seat behind her and staring out of the opposite window. So, now Ben had told Jamie he would get to stay at this Jackie woman's tonight, she couldn't very well disappoint the happy little child by disagreeing with his father.

She waved a hand dismissively at the driver, signalling to Ben that if he wished to go somewhere specific he would have to give Arnold the address for him to punch into his GPS that was fixed into the front of the car. As the wheels of the car began to move slowly, the electronic sound of the GPS system seemed to lull her to sleep and soon her blue eyes had closed indefinitely. Bella dreamt that she was back home in California, a place that she had not actually called home since she was not much older than Jamie was now. She dreamt that she was six years old and her mother and father knew everything, that nothing could ever hurt her. She dreamt about chocolate cake and not worrying about putting on weight. Most of all though, Bella dreamt about her mother's slender arms encircling her, promising her that if she let her kiss it better then the pain in her freshly scraped knee would all be better. Bella had never before realised how much she missed her mother, the prim, elegant woman who always knew right from wrong, the woman who never questionned God and his plan. The woman who's soft, Russian accent never failed to lull her daughter into a state of utter tranquility. Bella wondered if Jamie ever dreamt of her, if he was ever plagued by half memories that he couldn't quite remember, if sometimes a woman he could not recall ever meeting picked him up, held him to her, lulled him with her voice in a way that no other would ever accomplish. She very much hoped so, she needed to know that some part of her son, even if it was buried deep below the conscious mind, remembered her and missed her the way she did her own mother. The grandmother Jamie had never met.

Bella awoke to the sound of the car door shutting and she peeled her eyes open in time to watch Ben carry a content little Jamie towards a door, his action figure nestled happily in the crook of his little, chubby arm. She watched them go with a tender, maternal smile across her lips, satisfied for now by knowing that she had met her son, heard his voice, felt the softness of his little hand in her own. Sitting up, Bella leant forwards and opened the little fridge in the back of the limousine, disappointed to see that there was only a bottle of pink champagne and two glasses lodged into it's chilly dimensions. Shrugging, Bella expertly removed the cap and poured some of the bubbling liquid into her champagne flute, downing it smartly in one before pouring herself another. Minutes passed slowly and Bella chose to simply sip this drink as she waiting for Ben to return up the garden path. When he finally did Bella managed to fix a watery smile to her glossy lips, she wouldn't allow him the satisfaction of knowing she had allowed a tear or two to escape from their bright blue prisons. "Hey" she whispered softly, offering Ben the other flute the limousine company apparently stocked.

i tore the muscle from your chest, used it to stub out cigarettes
LISTENED TO YOUR SCREAMS OF PLEASURE, WATCH BEDSHEETS TURN BLOOD RED
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR BEN. 871 WORDS. BELLA WEARS THIS. TEMPLATE BY SPECIAL K !.

[BENJAMIN JAMES KANST]

→ PICTURE, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING
FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE, UNDER YOUR COMMAND
( I WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN WHEN ALL IS CRUMBLING ! ) - - - - - - - - - -

Leaning forward, Ben gave the address and settled back against the seat. Just holding Jamie by his side was enough to calm his nerves again but the feeling didn't last long. Watching the boy play with his toy that his mother had bought him made Ben wonder about what was to come. With Cordie out of the picture, he no longer had a mother figure and the only person who was willing to take her place, was the person Ben had vowed never to allow near his son. He couldn't just very well run back to Bella, expecting the two of them to have a normal relationship. Then again, he didn't want Jamie growing up in a broken home. Was he honestly willing to put himself through a life with Bella, hating her but loving her for the sake of their son? He didn't know if he could do something like that. Try as he might, Ben couldn't force himself to love Bella like he once had. Though he hadn't come to terms with it yet, he was still completely and irrevocably in love with Cordie or at least, the idea of Cordie. As Jamie rested against him, Ben struggled to keep a smile on his face for appearance sake. 

All he wanted for Jamie was for him to have the family Ben never had. And now he had quite possibly screwed Jamie over for any chance of a normal life. With the boy resting quietly, Ben looked up at Bella and smiled softly when he noticed she had dozed off too. Maybe it would be better if he wasn't in Jamie's life. At least Bella would be able to provide the best for him. Her words back at the station were starting to sink in and Ben was starting to doubt himself as both a person and a parent. This whole time he was trying to convince himself he was only doing what was best for Jamie but maybe the best thing for Jamie, didn't include Ben. It broke his heart to imagine a life without Jamie but, it was for the best right? Consumed by his guilt, he was almost thankful when they pulled up at the address. Picking Jamie up, Ben carried him to Jackie's doorstep along with his new toy. He figured it would be best not to disturb Bella. A few minutes were spent trying to convince Jackie not to ask any questions which of course only brought more questions. Ben finally made a quick promise to explain everything later, one he doubted he would follow through on, and hurriedly left back towards the car.

He was a little surprised to see Bella awake and with two glasses of champagne in hand. Quietly he accepted the flute with a quick nod of thanks and downed the liquid. It was hardly strong enough to do the trick though. Ben sighed and leaned back in his seat, letting his head rest against the back of the seat. He closed his eyes and listened to the dull drone of the car's engine. Now that his son wasn't around, Ben didn't have to put up a facade. After a minute, Ben finally sat up straight again. His gaze flickered across Bella and a soft chuckle, though it sounded more like a scoff, escaped. "Where did we go wrong?" He sighed, fighting to keep the burning tears from falling. "I'm sorry things had to be like this Bella." Ben tore his eyes away from her and chose to look down at the carpeted limousine floor. "I just want you to know, if anything were to happen to me, I think you'd be good for him. But right now, I can't lose him. Jamie's all I have now. Please don't take that from me." As if he hadn't done enough groveling today.

The day had left Ben an emotional wreck and though he didn't want to admit it, he needed someone and he figured, Bella was the only one who could possibly care about him. Who was he kidding? This was pathetic the way he was acting in front of his ex. No, what he needed right now was the be alone so he could clean up and then try to drink himself into a complete state of numbness think things over. Bella wouldn't care about him and in his emotional turmoil, he was about one drink away from spilling his entire sob story to her. He could no longer put up this front with her. "I appreciate you bailing me out but I need to be alone right now. If you could just drop me off at a hotel, I'll get out of your way." He couldn't even fathom returning back to his house at this point. Cordie's presence still lingered in his home and the mere reminder of her would cause all of his conflicting emotions to erupt violently.

( BELLA!  )
(  8 2 0 )
( NEVER SAY NEVER BY THE FRAY)
( AWW! )
( BROOKE FROM CAUTION )

[ISABELLA SAOIRSE HARTSEN]

- - YOU WERE ALONE BEFORE WE MET, NO MORE FORLORN THAN ONE COULD GET
HOW COULD WE KNOW WE HAD FOUND TREASURE HOW SINISTER AND HOW CORRECT
*IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH I COULD NOT TAKE, A PROMISE I COULD NOT MAKE
- - - - - - - - - - my ashtray heart

Bella sighed softly, her gaze penetrating the bottom of the glass she held in her hands, through the bubbling pink liquid. It had been a day to remember that much was for sure, her heart grew faster with excitement when she recalled the glorious feeling of having Jamie in the next room, without Ben or any other self righteous know it all telling her what was and wasn't good for her own son. The child she had brought into the world, named, suckled. She didn't need reminding that what a fool she had been, how ready she had been to throw it all away, well, she wouldn't make that mistake with her second and if all was fair and just in the world her first would be back in her arms before long. Ben's question hung in the air like smoke, twisting it's nature and filling all the cracks and crevices in the back of the car. It's inaudible echo forcing itself down Bella's throat, making it impossible for her to breathe. Panicking slightly Bella banged on the window for Arnold to pull over and without even waiting for him to stop properly she scrambled out of her seat belt and flung the door open, turning to welcome the cool air that rushed in to meet her. The truth was, being with Ben had been like staring at the sun, beautiful, exciting and ultimately jeopardous. Several moments passed in silence before Bella had finally calmed down enough to answer the seemingly simple question. She didn't know what had come over her but she didn't like it one bit, and it had been Ben to trigger the emotion. As always. Their entire relationship, in a nutshell, could be stripped down to loaded words, over reactions and sex.

Turning back to face Ben, Bella's face was laden with so much emotion it would be impossible to decipher exactly which she was currently struggling with. When she spoke, her voice was thick with the effort of restraining a fresh batch of the tears that had been flowing so freely down her face recently. "We burned too bright" she replied, by way of explanation. Returning her attention to outside the open car door, Bella shuffled to the edge of her seat and peered out at the all too familiar surroundings the pair found themselves in. She paid no heed to Ben's words from then on until he mentioned staying at a hotel, which she frowned at. There were only two hotels in Switchblade city, the one that Bella called home which was the only place in the entire city that rich business associates of the Turpis family that came to undertake something official and corporate felt safe, and a dingy little motel in the Murder district with cracked mirrors and cold water in the hot pipes. She rolled her eyes and snorted with mirth. "You always were a drama queen, Benjamin Kanst" Bella taunted mercilessly "Listen to you, talking shit about how grateful you are and how you just want to be alone. That's the biggest lot of bullshit I've ever heard come out of your good for nothing mouth" Bella swung her long, shapely legs out of the car having reached a snap decision. Her voice floated back to him from outside the car where she ruffled up her waving golden brown hair, applied fresh lipstick and spritzed herself with some fresh perfume. "Besides, you know as well as I do that all you're going to do when you get to this hotel of yours is crack open the mini bar and drink alone like the sad, middle aged fucker you're becoming"

[/color] with this, Bella stuck her freshly applied face back into the car and grinned cheekily. "So you might as well be sociable about it. I'm dying for a stiff drink, it's been an interesting day" with that, bella withdrew from her ex's line of sight and shut the sleek black door behind her, nodding to Arnold through the drivier's seat door that it was okay for him to go home to his wife and children before turning and striding into the bar they had accidnetally pulled up outside of without even waiting for Ben to follow. She knew he would, anyway, unless he fancied walking to a bed and breakfast.

Inside the bar it was dark, the lighting was low and designed especially for women who are getting along to hide the wrinkles and get them laid by some young, drunk boy just getting his feet in the hell mouth that is Switchblade City. Pausing subconsciously in the doorway to allow the sexually charged regulars to turn and stare at her, Bella flicked her hair over her shoulder and placed her hand on her hip seductively before striding confidentally down to the bar and perching on one of the precariously high bar stools. She beckoned the young bartender who came scuttling to her aid so quickly he nearly smashed the glass he had been idly cleaning beforehand. Bella leant forward, enhancing her cleavage and making the bartender feel as though he was the most important man in her life for those few seconds they had contact. She leant in close to him, her lips pouting flirtatiously, her eyes twinkling with promise. "hmmm" she murmured into his ear, mulling over the list of many cocktails she knew of in her mind's eye before ordering "I guess I'll start off the evening with a Clit Licking Cowgirl, if it's all the same to you"[/color][/size][/JUSTIFY][/blockquote][/blockquote]

i tore the muscle from your chest, used it to stub out cigarettes
LISTENED TO YOUR SCREAMS OF PLEASURE, WATCH BEDSHEETS TURN BLOOD RED

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR BEN. 921 WORDS. BELLA WEARS THIS. TEMPLATE BY SPECIAL K !.

[BENJAMIN JAMES KANST]

→ PICTURE, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING
FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE, UNDER YOUR COMMAND
( I WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN WHEN ALL IS CRUMBLING ! ) - - - - - - - - - -

Burned too bright. It was the answer to the rhetorical question he hadn't expected to be answered but it was the truth. Ben could only stare blankly at her reaction to his question. Honestly, it had never occurred to him that maybe his relationship with Bella had meant something to her as well. Well, really he hadn't taken the time to believe that he could actually mean something to Bella or was the his ego speaking? He was never capable of bringing himself to visit her in prison. Bella was everything that he wanted to move on from and he left her behind for his own selfish reasons. No, wait, he left her behind for the better of his son. Of course, the one second that Ben actually felt guilty for leaving her in prison, she turned around and went all psycho bitch on him again. She didn't understand, he'd just lost everything and here she was taunting him. His anger flared for a second at her taunting and his grip tightened on the glass she had handed him earlier. Oh, he didn't want to be alone but he did want to be away from Bella, that much wasn't a lie. He was about to snap back at her but she had already stepped out of the car. Besides, it was probably better for him if he didn't snap at Bella right now. After all, she had just bailed him out from jail, something he had never done for her.

Instead of snapping at her like he wanted to, Ben was reduced to sitting in the car and merely glaring at his ex. "The last thing I want to do is-" The door shut, cutting Ben off and he turned his angry stare towards the driver. "I can't believe you put up with her. I don't suppose you'll drive me anywhere." His only answer was complete silence and Ben sighed. "I'll take that as a no." Great, so that left him with two choices. He could walk, looking the way he did or he could drink himself to tears and be 'sociable' as Bella had put it. Actually he was seriously considering walking but then he looked down at his sorry state and Ben growled. It would not be the smartest idea to walk through the streets of Switchblade looking like he'd just murdered someone...well, he had. Fine then, a drink with his ex then. That even sounded like a bad idea in his head but it was better than getting arrested again. Ben flung open the door on his side, stepped out and purposefully slammed it rather hard. Once again, he was following behind Bella like a lost little puppy but this time, he didn't enjoy it at all. His thoughts still rotated around Cordie and the baby she was going to have. He wanted to be there for her and the child but how could he, after everything she'd lied to him about. The violent turmoil of emotions was returning as he walked inside the bar.

The nice, dimly lit setting of the bar did well to cover his disheveled, bloodied state. His hand still throbbed and already he subconsciously feel the effects of the terrible hangover that was to come. Wonderful. Ben pulled himself onto the bar stool next to Bella's. He could practically feel the eyes of everyone in that shitty bar staring at the two of them, probably wondering what Ben was doing with someone like her and he himself, was asking the same question. Now that he needed a drink, here was Bella flirting with the poor bartender. And she said he was the drama queen. He rolled his eyes as his ex played the young boy before asking for one of the most sexually oriented drinks she could probably think of. Bella left the bartender staring at her, frozen and unable to move. "Oh for Christ's sake, quit staring like an idiot. She's not going to sleep with you so get to it and get me a Jagerbomb," Ben snapped at the kid, pulling him out of his trance. He continued muttering swears as the bartender busied himself with making the drinks. Ben placed his bandaged hand on the counter and winced at the movement. When the guy brought the drinks, Ben immediately dropped the shot of Jager into the Red Bull and downed the entire drink. "You know, I thought she loved me. FBI. Apparently the fucking FBI has commanded my love life for the last three years," Ben paused for a minute, seething and not caring that he was ranting to Bella. "Oh and the best part, you'll love this. Surprise, she's pregnant and I think I hate her. Can I get another one of these?"

( BELLA! )
( 7 9 3 )
( NEVER SAY NEVER BY THE FRAY)
( BROOKE FROM CAUTION )

[ISABELLA SAOIRSE HARTSEN]

- - YOU WERE ALONE BEFORE WE MET, NO MORE FORLORN THAN ONE COULD GET
HOW COULD WE KNOW WE HAD FOUND TREASURE HOW SINISTER AND HOW CORRECT
*IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH I COULD NOT TAKE, A PROMISE I COULD NOT MAKE
- - - - - - - - - - my ashtray heart

Bella was in her element in a bar like this one, with dim lighting and men hanging on to every word, and when Bella was in her element she simply oozed sex appeal. It was in her nature. She had been raised to be dependant on the money she had been born in to and as such, no matter how confident and alluring she may seem, it was all an act to make some poor, rich man fall in love with her and allow her to be dependant on his money, also. So far it had only succeeded in making sure Bella's bed was never lonely for too long. She watched absent mindedly as the bartender placed an empty shot glass in front of her, it only took her a split second to frown slightly and raise her hand with four fingers held up, signalling to the young, nervous looking man that she in fact wanted four shots, despite only asking for one. She was only half listening to Ben's emotional rant, such displays always made her feel ridiculously uncomfortable and besides he was only talking about that god forsaken Cordelia woman, her sky blue eyes were trained on the bottles of liquid that the bartender poured into each shot glass. Peach schnapps first to fill half of each shot glass and bailey's irish cream to top off each one she licked her lips slightly and grinned at the man by way of thanks before plucking one up from the polished, wooden bar and tipping it down her throat, making an odd little face as it seared its way down to her stomach. She reached almost immediately for a second but paused with the glass mere inches away from her open lips. She shut them for a moment, staring at Ben, processing what he had just said. Then she opened them again. "Cordie's pregnant?!" she almost shouted, her tone drenched in shock. Somehow she couldn't quite believe it, the news made her feel sick to her stomach and she longed for Ben's face to crease into a smile and shout "Got'cha!" with a wink and a sip of his drink, but she already knew that he wouldn't. She was FBI too she realised, mentally running through the information her ex had just supplied her with. A look that couldn't quite be distinguished passed her elegant features and she tipped the alcohol she was still clutching into her mouth.

She continued to do so until the four shots the barman had lined up infront of her were empty then she beckoned the skittish young man over once more. "Have you ever heard of a drink called Liquid Cocaine?" she demanded and gave an exasperated sigh when he shook his head "Right. Well I'm going to make this quick so try to keep up. Get a glass, splash in some peach schnapps, then on top of that throw in two thirds of a shot of goldschlager ... have you got goldschlager? Good, I hate bars that don't stock goldschlager. Now drizzle in some jagermeister. Great. Thanks. Go now."

[/color] she took the hastily made cocktail from him and sipped at it thoughtfully before turning to Ben, a sly look on her face. "You know" she replied after a while, tapping her salon created nails onto the surface of the bar "You could always get her back somehow. She's pregnant right? So show her that you care about her just as much as she obviously cares about you since being with you was her job ... get someone else pregnant" with that she drained her glass and flipped her hair over her shoulder "Me, for example" she paused a moment to allow what she had propsed to sink in then she let out a long, loud laugh that filled the bar. She let him think she was joking.

By now her cheeks were a little flushed, Bella was the queen of getting drunk quickly and the alcohol had obviously already begun to seep into her blood stream and wreak havoc with her sensibilities. As if to prove it, her hand seemingly of it's own accord found itself resting on Ben's knee and gently sliding up Ben's leg before resting centimetres away from his crotch. She gazed into his eyes a moment, biting very slightly at her bottom lip before releasing him and turning her attention back to the bar. "A flaming sambuca for me and my ... friend, here" she grinned, pulling at the hem of her shirt subtley to enhance her cleavage. He could have her, all he had to do was reach over and take her. The proposition from a few moments ago had been a real one, but she was clever enough not to let him think that. Since leaving prison and seeing her little boy all grown up Bella had pined for the tiny baby she had been dragged kicking and screaming from and she would do anything to hold a new, squirming little baby in her arms once more and logic told her that to do so, she was going to have to have another one. Who better to supply her with one than the father of her first, after all? She knew that he wouldn't agree to it though and her mind was ticking over cunningly as she covered the flaming alcohol with her palm, brought it up to her mouth and sucked in both the fumes and the liquid skillfully. She was going to have to trick him into it.[/JUSTIFY][/blockquote][/blockquote]

i tore the muscle from your chest, used it to stub out cigarettes

[/i][/size][/font][/color]
LISTENED TO YOUR SCREAMS OF PLEASURE, WATCH BEDSHEETS TURN BLOOD RED

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR BEN. 923 WORDS. BELLA WEARS THIS. TEMPLATE BY SPECIAL K !.


[/center]

[BENJAMIN JAMES KANST]

→ PICTURE, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING
FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE, UNDER YOUR COMMAND
( I WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN WHEN ALL IS CRUMBLING ! ) - - - - - - - - - -

The only bad thing about his choice in drink, was the mix of energy drink and alcohol wasn’t going to get him drunk quite fast enough. The Jagerbomb would hit him later but right now, he would prefer something that would knock him out. If he could have his way, Ben had no intention of remembering this day. He didn’t seem to notice the shock in Bella’s voice and just nodded enthusiastically as he downed the second drink the bartender brought him. “Right!? I had the same reaction!” Of course, he didn’t realize they were shocked for completely different reasons. “Would have never guessed! Or well, ya know. Maybe if I’d been home I would have noticed.” He wrinkled his nose and made a strange face as he thought about it. As Bella ordered his drink, he continued and then sighed as he seemed to come to a final decision. “I’m just a shitty boyfriend, I give up.” Resting his head in his palm, Ben placed his elbow on the table and waved the bartender back over with his bandaged hand. “Shot of vodka.” As he placed the shot glass in front of him, Ben watched as he poured the vodka but when he turned to leave, Ben stopped him. “Ehh wait. Just leave the bottle. Yeah, the entire thing. Just, leave it. Put it there. Now walk away.”

Up until this point, Ben had only been vaguely paying attention to what Bella was saying but at the mention of getting her back, his eyebrow shot up and he suddenly seemed much more interested. He hadn’t really thought about plotting revenge against Cordie. It was a subject he was still a little touchy and confused about. There had been a lot of emotions but revenge had not been one of them. Sure, hatred was a pretty strong one now and something that was bound to grow the more he drank but he wasn’t the spiteful type. By the time Bella finished speaking, Ben had already downed four shots. He merely gave her a blank stare when she suggested that Ben get her pregnant. There was brief second where he just sat there with a unreadable expression on his face before he suddenly burst out into laughter. “Oh Bella. You’re funny,” he snorted and poured himself another shot. “Me, you, child. Because it turned out so well last time. I’m not nearly drunk enough for that yet.” It really was quite amusing to even imagine him and Bella having another child. He was pretty sure one of them would end up killing each other before that pregnancy was carried out to full term.

Ben continued chuckling as he tipped back another shot. The effects of the alcohol were settling in and he was more than welcoming the impending hangover the next morning. By now he was already starting to lose himself in this world where it was only Ben and Bella sitting at the bar. As her hand crept up his thigh, he didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he relaxed into her touch and just shot her a coy smile. “You are such a lightweight.” The more shots Ben continued to knock back, the more he was thinking about taking Bella up on her offer. After all, it wasn’t a bad plan and Cordie was the jealous type but he didn’t want to hurt her. Or did he? His eyebrows furrowed in thought as he stared off, his gaze seemingly resting on her cleavage though Ben didn’t realize it. Her lies had hurt him, Bella was sitting right there, looking very appealing, and yet all he could think about was the woman he had just lost. Grasping the shot, Ben followed Bella’s example but without much focus and he scrunched his face at the burn. Ow. He should probably pay more attention to what he was drinking. Ben turned his gaze back to Bella and tilted his head, studying her with a soft smile. “We did have our good days. Honestly, I kind of miss them sometimes.”

It seemed today the alcohol was putting him a strangely nostalgic mood or maybe it was just Bella’s presence that was doing it. She looked so adorably cunning sitting there on the bench and in the dim lighting, it was reminding him of the night he’d first met her. “It’s hard to believe it’s been so long since we first met. I actually kind of miss playing in shitty bars like this. No offense.” Ben glanced over at the bartender who happened to be within hearing range. Of course, he was a bit louder than he thought. “I just....have to try this.” Leaning forward slightly, Ben reached out with his uninjured hand and rested it against Bella’s warm cheek. He softly ran his fingers down the outline of her cheekbone to trace her lips. Gently, Ben pulled his hand away but immediately his fingers were replaced with his own lips. It had been nearly four years since he’d felt her but the memory of her lingering touch felt fresh, almost as if nothing had changed.

( BELLA! )
( 8 5 2 )
( NEVER SAY NEVER BY THE FRAY)
( BROOKE FROM CAUTION )

[ISABELLA SAOIRSE HARTSEN]

- - YOU WERE ALONE BEFORE WE MET, NO MORE FORLORN THAN ONE COULD GET
HOW COULD WE KNOW WE HAD FOUND TREASURE HOW SINISTER AND HOW CORRECT
*IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH I COULD NOT TAKE, A PROMISE I COULD NOT MAKE
- - - - - - - - - - my ashtray heart

The atmosphere around the two seemed to be warming up by the second and Bella felt herself relax slightly and settle more comfortably on the high bar stool she was perched on. If she didn't look too closely at Ben's face where new lines had set up shop in his skin or his style of clothing which was more expensive and more modern than it had been the last time she'd sat in a bar beside him, Bella would have been forgiven for letting herself believe that no time had passed. Bella's head felt a little light, a consequence of the vast array of different toxins she had just tipped into her empty stomach in minutes. If there had been a sensible side to her it would be screaming at her to stop, or at least slow down her consumption of alcohol but alas Bella had no sensible side and so was content to drink herself to oblivion by Ben's side, as she had always done. His self pitying remarks seemed to float by Bella, who was staring straight ahead at the bottles lined up behind the bar, and she allowed him to metaphorically use her shoulder to cry on, although she would have been disgusted if he had actually attempted to do so. Everyone who met Bella would never have put her in the same box as a doting mother, her priorities were off and her habit of displaying affection via purchasing presents had been frowned upon on more than one occasion, and yet there was something inside of Bella that made her yearn to create life within her womb and nurture it. It caused her a physical pain to see just how little Jamie was like her, how his nature was mostly due to the woman who had attempted to take Bella's place. And now she was carrying Ben's second child, another of the roles Bella felt should have been hers, hatred ripped through her heart silently and her grip on the glass infront of her tightened slightly, Ben's emotional tirade going unheeded.

Ben's reaction to Bella's proposal was a curious one, she decided as her eyes ravaged his blood stained face, trying to find a hint as to the emotion her words caused him. As she did so it dawned on Bella just how easy it could be to carry out her plan, excitement and nerves bubbled inside of her and a wide, unhindered smile spread it's way across her near intoxicated face. His words washed over her as she finished, one hand taking a moment to lightly caress the fabric of Ben's jeans the other neatly knocking whatever was left in the glases infront of her into her mouth and down her throat, all the while her mind was ticking over cunningly like clockwork, planning. She raised her hand, signalling for the bartender to make his way back over to their little corner of alcoholic heaven. She ordered a drink. He asked for payment for the previous drinks first. Bella wrinkled her nose in mirth, reaching into her bag and plucking out a bulging purse that made his eyes widen and his jaw drop a little with shock and longing. Bella smiled softly, extracting a pretty silver card that could only mean a platinum account before offering it out to the bartender between two fingers, one eyebrow raised slightly. She was enjoying the moment perhaps a little too much, something about her posture was a little feline, cunning and sharp. "Well then" she purred, seductive tones floating their way through the air in sound waves and dripping into every man in the bar's ears like treacle. "I think maybe we need to set up some sort of tab, don't you?" she turned to Ben for his agreement and as she did so she felt Ben's hand reach out and caress her cheek, he drew her into him like a moth to a flame, a shiver went up her spine as his thumb gently slid across her lips and a small moan escaped her lips as it was replaced by ben's firm, slightly chapped, masculine lips. At this point the bartender had the good sense to pluck the credit card from the fingers of his newly favourite customer as she found herself in a passionate embrace with the blood stained, angry man.

As the kiss deepened Bella felt her whole body relax into the arms of her ex lover, her tongue flicked lightly over his lower lip, questing to gain access to the silky smooth interior of his lips. As she did so she slowly began to disentangle herself from him, their lips were the last thing to relinquish each other and as she pulled away from him her sky blue eyes continued to rest on him, a light smile playing around on her small yet plump lips. Finally she turned her eyes from him and rested them down on to her waiting drink, a woo woo. It took a moment for the words she was forming in her mind to work their way to her mouth and slip out from between her lips, as smooth and as soft as the silk bedsheets that awaited her return back at her penthouse apartment. "Hey"

[/color] she breathed, her eyes still trained on the glass of reddish pink liquid infront of her. She took a sip before continuing, allowing her gaze to return to Ben's form "Drink up, it's pretty boring in here. How about we go back to my suite and order room service?"[/color] her words were simple, but her tone and body language were coated heavily in sex appeal, even more so than usual and aimed directly at Ben.[/JUSTIFY][/blockquote][/blockquote]

i tore the muscle from your chest, used it to stub out cigarettes

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LISTENED TO YOUR SCREAMS OF PLEASURE, WATCH BEDSHEETS TURN BLOOD RED

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FOR BEN. 951 WORDS. BELLA WEARS THIS. TEMPLATE BY SPECIAL K !.
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[BENJAMIN JAMES KANST]

→ PICTURE, YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING
FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE, UNDER YOUR COMMAND
( I WILL BE YOUR GUARDIAN WHEN ALL IS CRUMBLING ! ) - - - - - - - - - -

For some reason he had imagined that spilling to Bella would have been a little less...one-sided. Though for the life of him, Ben couldn’t figure out why he thought that. If circumstances had been different though, his ex would not have been his first choice for venting. His emotional ranting seemed to fall on deaf ears and though he should have expected it, a pat on the back would have at least set him at ease. It was wishful thinking to believe that Bella could actually pretend to care about him. Even now, her only solution to fix his heartbreak was to knock back a few and hopefully not remember in the morning. He could probably get more comfort from a rock. Actually, he was almost one-hundred percent positive he would have been better off talking to an inanimate object. When he saw her attention was focused elsewhere, Ben gave up on trying to put his emotional heartbreak in words. It wasn’t worth the effort. His sorrows would be drowned out by the time he finished the bottle anyway. In all the time that he had known her, he couldn’t pinpoint a time when they had an actual conversation. When they were together, it had mostly been about physical contact and then arguments about how they didn’t communicate well. He had come to the conclusion that neither of them tried very hard to keep the relationship alive. And still, they were drawn to each other.

It was a good thing there was alcohol involved. The more he drank, the less Ben seemed to care about trying to coax some sort of comforting or pitying remark from Bella. She had bailed him out of jail though. Ben supposed this was her way of being nice or well, manipulating him to do whatever she wanted. But that was such a negative way of thinking about it. He had already drank too much to consider this a possibility. His rejection to her proposal didn’t seem to faze her at all and Ben merely wrote it off. It wasn’t like she was actually serious about trying to have another child. Even he had learned his lesson from last time and he wasn’t too keen on trying again. If he was going to have another child, it would be in a long-lasting relationship where he didn’t have to worry about child support and custody battles. Ben merely smiled and downed another drink. He simply watched as the bartender made his way back over. The size of Bella’s purse wasn’t something strange to Ben and he didn’t even blink when she pulled out her credit card. After running the studio for so long, Ben was finding himself getting quite used to being around money. It wasn’t until he saw the look of disbelief on the bartender’s face that he realized most people in Switchblade could only dream of the money that came so easily to her. Typically, he would feel a little pity for the guy but at the moment, Ben couldn’t help the strong sense of superiority. The kiss was almost his way of claiming Bella.

He hadn’t expected her to respond like she did but it was what he was looking for. Ben leaned forward in his chair to move closer to her. His hand settled on her waist as the kiss deepened. It took him a second before he even realized that she was pulling away from him. When she moved, Ben nearly fell off his stool and he barely managed to catch himself. Sitting rather close to her, Ben smiled awkwardly when she turned away from him. He was a little confused by the sudden break and it left him craving more. As she looked at her drink, he kept himself close, nuzzling her neck to let her know he wanted more than that. It was a good thing Bella chose the words she did. Ben was reminded that he was in a bar and he had to refrain from trying to undress her. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” he muttered as he pulled her closer. “I suppose we’ll have to get a taxi back.”

( BELLA! )
( 7 0 0 )
( NEVER SAY NEVER BY THE FRAY)
( BROOKE FROM CAUTION )

[ISABELLA SAOIRSE HARTSEN]

- - YOU WERE ALONE BEFORE WE MET, NO MORE FORLORN THAN ONE COULD GET
HOW COULD WE KNOW WE HAD FOUND TREASURE HOW SINISTER AND HOW CORRECT
*IT WAS A LEAP OF FAITH I COULD NOT TAKE, A PROMISE I COULD NOT MAKE
- - - - - - - - - - my ashtray heart

Ben’s proximity was more intoxicating to Bella than the alcohol she had been steadily pouring down her neck and her head spun a little at his scent, a scent she had not smelt in a very, very long time. Not cologne, his very own scent, the smell of his skin penetrated her and she could barely restrain herself, but she knew that she would have to, for the moment. The sensation of Ben’s breath on her neck sent her crazy and she suddenly reached out and tipped her newly ordered woo woo into her mouth and swallowed, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of too much alcohol on the tender flesh of her throat at once. She couldn’t wait any longer and she beckoned the bartender over, settled the matter of the bill, took her credit card back and stood up, her heels hitting the floor of the bar with an assertive clack. Bella pulled Ben up with her, anxious not to let him go for even a second. It was like his touch had put a spell on her.

Grabbing up her bag, Bella pulled Ben with her to the door of the bar, once there she was once again unable to restrain herself and she arched her back, pressing her body into his, before brushing his lips with hers teasingly. Then she pulled him into a passionate embrace and kissed him hungrily, her animal instincts were taking over and the unbearable chemistry the two had always shared shrouded them in their own personal bubble of lust. Bella was no longer thinking of revenge or tricking Ben into having a second child with her, at this moment all she knew was that she was kissing him, and it felt very, very good.

She spoke to him softly in the brief moments that their lips parted, sweet nothings muffled by the desire lodged in her throat, although the people in the bar stared at them in shock, Bella didn’t care. In her mind, they were alone, and she was acting accordingly. She had gone so long without any touch at all, let alone Ben’s touch, that her excitement was overpowering her and she was letting it take full control of her body. If she hadn’t been raised quite as well as she had, she probably would have attempted to have sex in a dingy corner of the bar, but instead she forced herself to break the physical bond and turn away from him, wiping her lips daintily and ruffling her hair. Bella took out her cell phone and quickly typed a few letters which she concealed from Ben and turned back to him with a neatly composed smile. She had taken the few moments she had with her back to him to calm herself down and instead of jumping on him again, Bella slipped her hand gently into his. ”We, could get a taxi” she agreed with a small nod, a cheeky glint in her brilliant blue eyes, ”Or we could take the car back to the penthouse and really prepare ourselves…”

[/color] she trailed off suggestively with a smirk and pushed open the bar door with one hand, leading Ben out into the street. Compared to the dingy light of the bar the light outside was blinding and Bella had to blink several times before she her eyes would adjust properly and allow her to see, by the time she had a sleek black car had pulled up in front of them with a soft hum of an engine and a tall, blonde man had unfolded himself from the driver’s seat and opened the door directly in front of Bella. It was a different driver from before, this one was much younger and looked as though he should be on a poster or advertising campaign, but Bella paid him no attention. Her eyes were fixed completely on Ben. Neatly, Bella got into the back of the limousine with only the slightest help from Hank, the driver. Once in Bella leaned back out, biting her lip softly and beckoned Ben to join her in the back. "What are you waiting for?" she breathed.[/JUSTIFY][/blockquote][/blockquote]

i tore the muscle from your chest, used it to stub out cigarettes

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LISTENED TO YOUR SCREAMS OF PLEASURE, WATCH BEDSHEETS TURN BLOOD RED

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
FOR BEN. 690 WORDS. BELLA WEARS THIS. TEMPLATE BY SPECIAL K !.


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